Making Peace With the Past

February 13, 2013 at 3:09 am (Uncategorized)

  1. The Strength of My Mother

My father told me a story the other day

about how my grandfather screamed at my grandmother

and called her a bitch

because when she was pouring his water

a bead of sweat from the pitcher dripped off

and got his crisp white dress shirt wet.


“I saw the tears well up in her eyes

and I looked around the table,

but the family carried on like nothing happened.”


My father always says that my grandmother was a  kind woman,

but I’m pretty sure he thinks

(but would never say aloud)

that my grandfather was a mean motherfucker.


Everyone who knows my dad would agree

that he is a really nice guy.

So nice sometimes,

that it can actually be a problem,

(but that is a story for another day.)


Children who grow up witnessing spousal abuse

often demonstrate behavior and emotional problems,

psychosomatic disorders, anxiety and fears.

This was true for my mom.

It is not uncommon

for those children to be drawn into abusive relationships as well

And for that pattern to repeat

generation after generation.


But my mom broke that cycle.

She chose a nice man.

A good man.

And because she did

I did

And because I did

my daughters will too.


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